You Just Love My Ass
by britishbeauty1603
Summary: A collection of committed relationship Babe one-shots; some are smut, others are fluff, and others are just thrown in there. Despite what the title suggests no ...erm... butt stuff. But this is definitely a kiddie free zone for adult situations and language. Marked as complete however more one-shots will be added. Summaries are at the beginning of each chapter.
1. You Just Love My Ass

**EDIT: For some reason the majority of the smutty goodness didn't upload! I don't know why it did that, but I've re-uploaded it and it's now fixed. Sorry about that! Thank you to those that reviewed, followed and added to favorites!**

_A/N: I've been wanting to write a Stephanie Plum fic for a while now and thought I'd post a quick smutty one-shot to get me started! I might add to this to make it just a collection of fluff/smut one-shots but each chapter will be it's own little story so I'll mark it as completed. Please R&R. All feedback (both negative and positive) is welcome. All mistakes are mine and feel free to point them out to me if I missed any._

_All characters belong to JE. I'm just taking them for a test drive!_

**You Just Love My Ass**

She was lying on her front, facing away from me. She was in one of my t-shirts that had ridden up and her bare ass was on display, her feet were crossed in the air. Her curly brown hair was out of control as always. She was looking over some files on skips, her feet absentmindedly swinging in the air, moving her ass even more. I couldn't take just looking at her anymore; my need for her was already starting to press against the towel tied around my waist.

"Babe," I said as I made my way to the foot of the bed and looked down at her body.

She looked over her shoulder at me openly staring at her ass. "Enjoying the view?" She asked with wicked smirk on her face as she shook her perfect ass a little at me, pushing it up from the mattress slightly.

I let a groan escape when she went back to her files with her ass still in the air a little, teasing me. God, I wanted nothing more than to spank her ass as she rode me. Of course, the only thing better than that was being buried deep into her ass but I already pushed for that once and I know how to learn from my mistakes. I decided to do a little teasing of my own and ran a hand over one of her perfectly round cheeks. She let out a sigh and pushed her ass up higher, I'm not sure if it was an invitation or just a natural reflex but I took advantage of it.

I used both hands to hold her hips and pull them up higher so she was on her knees with her front pressed to the mattress. The action caused the shirt to fall down so that it was caught beneath her armpits. I bent down and kissed the small of her back, trailing them down the centre of her ass until I reached her hot centre. She moaned the entire way and didn't object when I licked my way back up her ass, kissed her newly exposed back and sucked and bit at the back of her neck as I pressed myself against her behind, my knees on the mattress. She may not want me inside her ass but I had quickly learnt that doesn't mean she doesn't like me playing with her ass.

She moaned my name when I left my mark on her again and again. When I'd left plenty of marks on her I kissed her ear and lightly tugged on her ear lobe with my teeth as my hand moved under the front of the shirt and played with her perfectly sized breasts. I purposely avoided her nipple, all the while her moans became more demanding.

"Ranger," she whined and pressed her ass firmly against me, the only thing separating me from her hot centre was the thin towel still tied around my waist.

"Yeah Babe?" I said softly as I tugged on her ear again and refused to pay any attention to her obviously alert nipples or what was currently pressing against my obvious erection.

"I want you," she said as a whimper.

This was exactly as I wanted her, dripping wet and begging for me. I thought I'd give her a little more so I kissed her neck as I rolled her hard nipple between my thumb and finger. My reward was the most lust filled moan I have ever heard and it caused me to leave yet another mark on her pale neck.

"Ranger," she said quietly, "God. Fuck me. Please. I want you," she moaned as she began grinding against me again. That action alone caused me to moan into her hair and realise I'd probably teased her enough.

"How do you want me, Babe?" I asked as I straightened up and removed my towel, throwing it on the ground beside the bed. The second the towel landed she was pressing herself against me and I could feel her juices on my already hard cock. I grabbed her ass cheek roughly in response to her actions, squeezing it in my hand. I let go and spanked the place I'd just held once when she moaned into the pillow she had buried her face into. She may be from the 'Burg but never let it be said that Stephanie doesn't like it a little rough.

"God, Ranger," she moaned, "I don't care; I just want you inside me."

I kept one hand on her ass and ran the other between her folds and lightly brushed my fingertips over her clit. She moaned in approval and I did the same motion again but firmer, all the while avoiding her opening. She whined my name again with annoyance and I chuckled at the effect I had on her. I repeated the motion a third time but this time I entered two fingers into her, already wet from her juices. She clenched around them immediately when I curled them to hit her spot dead on.

"Get _inside_ me," she said in almost a growl when I uncurled my fingers, ready to hit her spot again.

My dick felt like it was about to explode, wanting in on the action. I decided to give it, and Stephanie, what they wanted and I drove into her hot centre. As soon as I entered her we both moaned and I stayed there for a moment, letting her adjust. She didn't need much adjusting considering we'd only made love a few hours ago, but she felt amazing around me and I wanted to stay inside her forever. I slid out and drove back into her again with more force, making her moan loudly into the pillow. I hated that her sounds of pleasure were muffled by the pillow. This apartment was soundproof and I wanted her to take advantage of the fact.

I bent over her and pulled her shoulders up so that she was on her hands and knees. "Don't for a second I don't want to hear your pleasure," I said as I turned her chin towards me.

I kissed her harshly as I drove into her, she broke the kiss to moan into my mouth and I caught her bottom lip in my teeth and pulled lightly. This made her moan again louder and I started thrusting into her with more force. She could take it, if last night was any indication. I buried my face in the crook of her neck and moaned when she started meeting me thrust for thrust. Jesus Christ this woman was amazing.

Her moans were getting louder and my own release was getting close. I reached down and pressed my finger against her clit softly, not enough to make her cum. She cried out and reached one hand up to grip the back of my neck. She clenched her walls tightly around me and then released me when I moaned at the sensation. I knew she did that just to tease me and that knowledge just added to my fast approaching release.

"Cum for me Babe," I murmured into her neck as I bit down, "I wanna feel you cum for me, Steph."

I increased the pressure on her clit and pinched it lightly. Her walls clenching around me coupled with her screaming my name in pleasure was enough to push me over the edge, and with one last thrust I emptied myself into her, her name on my lips.

We collapsed together and I managed- after a moment to gain some control- to slip out of her and roll myself to her side. I propped myself up on my forearm and traced lazy patterns on her bare back. As I waited for her breathing to return to normal, I took the opportunity to look at her body laid out before me. Her pale skin was covered in a light sheen of sweat and her neck was covered in marks which made me hope that she wore her hair up when she left to broadcast the fact she was thoroughly pleasured all night and - I glanced at the clock- most of the morning by me and me alone. Her hips had various marks from the grip I had on her at various points throughout the night and her ass had a lovely shade of pink covering some of the other marks from where I had grabbed her, squeezed her, spanked her and at one point bit her. I'd never left marks on a woman before and I'd definitely never let one mark me. But with Stephanie it was different. She was an amazing and sexy woman and I wanted everyone that saw her today to know that she was taken. I know it was possessive of me but I know that if I were out of the picture there would be a very long line of black clad men eagerly hoping to fill my place. I knew I too had a few marks on my neck; she was very possessive of me as well and I loved that. She was mine and I was hers, and we were both happy this way.

"I think you have a thing for my ass," she mumbled, making me look away from it to see her smirking face turned towards me and her head resting on her arms.

"I don't know where you got that idea," I said deadpan as I moved my hand down to rest on it. She chuckled and moved onto her side to fully face me and my hand rested on her bare hip.

"It's just a feeling I have," she played along, all the while smiling at me lovingly. I looked down her body now that the front was exposed to me and saw a number of other marks, I moved her shirt over her breasts and they too looked thoroughly pleasured.

"You look like you've taken a beating," I said as I traced a few of my marks on her skin as I covered her back up with my shirt.

"I have this boyfriend who's a little too rough for my liking," she said, tracing a few of her marks on my neck.

"That's not what it sounded like to me," I chuckled as I picked up her hand on my neck and brought it to my mouth to kiss. "It sounded like you thoroughly enjoy it when I'm rough with you."

"I suppose I might have enjoyed it a little bit," she smiled as she pressed her front against me. "But were all the marks really necessary?" She pointed to a few prominent ones on the front of her neck and collar bones.

"Just in case you run into Morelli," I smirked and she pushed my shoulder lightly, as if telling me to behave.

"He knows I'm yours," she pointed out.

"I know that. But I like to know that while he may be watching the game and eating pizza with you, you're still mine and he can't have you like I do." I brushed some of her wild curls away from her face and behind her ear and nuzzled her neck.

"So you don't trust me?" She said; although her voice was light and teasing.

"I trust you completley," I said seriously, "I just like to think that I can put that look on his face when we make out in front of him when I'm not even there."

She laughed and pushed me away before announcing that she had to go down to five to run some searches on her FTAs. She hopped out of bed after a long and incredibly sexy kiss and made her way to the bathroom. I swatted her barely covered ass as she walked past me and she gave me a playful glare over her shoulder.

"Love you, Babe," I called out in response and she rolled her eyes at me.

"You just love my ass," she said before locking herself in the bathroom.

.

_A/N: Did you enjoy? I hope I did okay. all feedback is welcome, how else would I improve? I might add to this between my school work and the longer more serious Babe fic I'm working on. _

_Thanks for reading!_


	2. Welcome Home

_A/N: No smut in this one guys but it is in Ranger's perspective again. What can I say? I just love stories from Ranger's POV. I'm still experimenting with Stephanie Plum fanfiction so all pointers, suggestions and guidance is greatly appreciated! _

_All characters belong to JE. I'm just taking them for a test drive!_

**Summary: Ranger returns from a month long mission and this is his and Stephanie's first-morning-home-after-mission ritual.**

**Welcome Home**

I awoke to Stephanie's hair tickling my chest as she began to stir. She had one leg tangled with mine and my chest was acting as her pillow. I looked over at the clock; 0700 hours. I loved waking up like this. I'd returned from a month long mission two nights ago with a few scrapes, bruises and bullet holes; but nothing too bad. I spent the first night alone at my apartment in Miami, just to give me a chance to get a sense of normality back into my life before going into the completely different kind of warzone that is my life in Trenton. I wanted to just get back home to my woman but I knew that I couldn't risk going straight from a mission to her bed without a chance to readjust a little. I'd come home to my apartment in Trenton yesterday night at 2300 hours and found her asleep in my bed. I easily slid in next to her and we instantly slipped into our usual sleeping position. She'd mumbled my name into my chest and nuzzled in but apart from that she didn't wake.

She began stirring again with more control of her movements and her arms tightened around me. She moved her face up towards me and blinked quickly, confusion obvious on her face. "Ranger?" She mumbled.

"Yeah Babe, it's me," I said as I stroked her bare shoulders.

She smiled and hugged me tightly, burying her face back into my chest. "I missed you so much," she said, her voice still heavy with sleep.

"I missed you too," I said quietly, my voice hitching a bit at the end, and kissed the top of her head. Goddammit. I am badass army Ranger who just returned from a fucking warzone; and here I am getting choked up simply because Stephanie missed me. I am pathetic. "Come on," I said, trying to control my emotions, "let's get some breakfast."

I slid out from underneath her and pulled on some sweatpants. I began walking out the bedroom when I realised she wasn't following me. I turned and looked at her still lying in the bed, the sheets only half-covering her barely-there pyjamas. She looked at me with her big pleading eyes and I knew exactly what she wanted. "Not happening," I said, shaking my head with an amused smile on my face.

"Please."

"No."

"Yes."

"_Babe_."

"_Batman_."

I narrowed my eyes at her.

She looked at me expectantly.

"_Fine_," I sighed and she smiled widely at me. I reached down and picked her up bridal style and she laughed when I kissed her forehead. "You have me wrapped around your little finger, don't you?" I said to her.

"Yeah but I know you like carrying me around," she said as she wrapped her arms around my neck to pull me closer to her. "C'mere Batman," she kissed me softly and I stopped my movements towards the kitchen. I never wanted to rush our first kisses after a mission. She didn't really understand my need for it, but I suppose she wouldn't. I'd be immersed in death and destruction for weeks, nine times out of ten I would have been called on to eliminate a target; so my taking someone's life was inevitable. In the process, I would be forced to take the lives of many enemy soldiers all in the same place I was: following the orders of the country they serve. That darkness hovers over me constantly. But since Stephanie became a permanent part of my life the darkness can be lightened slightly by her presence. She reminds me why I do what I do; to keep people like her safe. I don't do it for the scum bags she rounds up every day, the idiots on Stark Street, or even the paper pushers who create my missions. I do it for the people like her who are so innocent and full of love and acceptance. That's why I want to savour our first kiss after a mission; to remind myself that everything I just did is to keep her safe.

She broke the kiss and rested our foreheads together. "I'm hungry. Take me to the kitchen," she said, smiling.

"I'm not your slave, you know," I joked when I sat her down on the counter top and began taking food out for our breakfast. This was the ritual in the morning after a mission; I carried her from the bedroom to the kitchen and she watched as I made breakfast - usually pancakes. She'd steal kisses from me and run her fingers through my new short hair and complain about how she missed my long hair. She'd ask about my mission and I'd tell her everything I could, which wasn't much.

I took the bowl out of the cupboard and began making the batter next to her on the counter. She played with my hair as I did so. I would rest my hand on her thigh or hip as I read the recipe and then get back to work. The truth is I knew the recipe by heart because I'd made it for her so many times; but I wanted an excuse to touch her for no reason other than to remind myself that I was back home. Back with Stephanie. I could see her looking at my bare chest out of the corner of my eye. I had a number of bandages covering new wounds and I knew she was curious about them.

"Bullet wounds?" She finally asked, tracing a few of the bandages.

"Here and here," I pointed to the bandage on my shoulder and the one on my hip. "Got infected so I had to be in the VA hospital for a few days. Next time I'm demanding Bobby's the medic in my team, that one was useless."

"What about this one?" she asked and placed her hand lightly over the largest bandages, covering my entire right hip and side.

"Burn. Should be okay in a day or so. I'm gonna have Bobby check it out today though." I thought I'd get it out of the way and just list the injuries. "I also have a few knife wounds," I pointed to the smaller bandages on my chest, "and there is also one on my thigh. This-" I pointed to the bandage on my arm- "is a snake bite. Most of the injuries wouldn't have been that bad if they hadn't gotten infected."

She nodded slightly and I poured some batter into the frying pan. "One to ten?" she asked me.

"Five," I replied without looking at her. She'd basically just asked how much this mission had fucked me up mentally. She asked after every mission. At first it would take her a few nights of PTSD dreams for her to ask and I always found it hard to put it into words. After a particularly bad mission she asked me after one night.

"_On a scale of one to ten, how bad is your head right now?" She asked as she played with the short hair at the nape of my neck. I was standing between her legs as she sat on the counter. _

"_Why do you ask?" I couldn't meet her eyes. I knew she could tell. I always found it so hard to shield my emotions from her._

"_Because you had a dream last night," she said quietly. This made my head snap up and look at her; searching for any bruising or harm I could have caused her while fighting a memory in my sleep. "You didn't hurt me," she said quickly when she saw my expression and cupped my cheek with her hand, she stroked her thumb over my cheek bone. "You were really bad though. It took me about an hour to get through to you. But when I finally did you were still restless, constantly mumbling something I couldn't understand." _

"_I could have hurt you. You should have just got out of the bedroom and called Bobby or Tank," I reminded her._

" _I've told you before: I can calm you down without having to knock you out or sedate you." We stood there looking at each other in silence, having had this argument before we both knew neither of us ever won. "One to ten," she prompted me._

"…_Nine point Five." _

_I didn't want to call it a Ten because I'm sure Uncle Sam could come up with a mission to top that one. So I didn't want to tempt fate. _

Next time I came home she didn't hesitate to ask and we'd managed to cut the question down to "One to ten?" I found it easier to tell her truthfully when all she wanted was a number, instead of a complete stock list of all the bad shit running through my head. I'd also come to accept that when I had a bad dream, which was rare now, she could actually get through to me. I'd had a dream when I was in hospital for a gunshot wound a year ago and she'd managed to convince Bobby that he didn't need to sedate me. She went over to me, started talking to me and I relaxed after a minute or so. That was all it took to convince Bobby that she could handle the dreams. I don't know what she says to me because I don't remember the dreams and she won't tell me either. She says that if I know then it might not work next time. Right. I think she just talks nonsense in my ear until it gets through to me and she's too embarrassed to admit to it. She probably tells me all the groceries we need to buy or some dream she had as a kid that her mother disapproved of.

"So what's a five? Loud noises will make you jump for a few weeks and as long as I don't come running up to you with a gun then I'm probably safe," she joked.

"Something like that," I chuckled. I put the pancake onto the plate next to the stove and began another one. "Hey!" I protested as she tried to reach for the pancake.

"It's the first one! The first one is always the tester!" She argued.

"You should know by now that my pancake making skills are impeccable. There is no need for a tester," I boasted as I flipped the pancake over.

"You never know, all the gun fire might have knocked your pancake making skills loose."

"You're not getting the pancake," I said and put the second one on top.

She huffed and jumped down off the counter. She got out maple syrup, sugar and butter for her and a banana and lemon juice for me. She placed them on the counter and bustled around the kitchen for a few minutes. Eventually she stood behind me and wrapped her arms around my waist, pressing her cheek against my back.

"What's up, Babe?" I asked as my left hand covered her joint hands.

"We didn't hear anything from you. We usually get check-ins but we got nothing. I just -" she hugged me tighter and sniffed a little. "- I couldn't help but think that maybe…" She trailed off and placed a kiss on my back.

I turned the element off and placed the last pancake on the plate. I turned around in her arms and wrapped my arms around her, my arms almost swallowing her up. My heart hurt when her bright blue eyes looked up at me filled with unshed tears. "I'm sorry there were no check-ins this time," I said quietly, "I'm sorry I do this to you. I don't like to just leave you here worrying about me. There were complications in the plan just before I was dropped in there so I would have missed every check in point they had set up for me. I had to convince them to cancel them instead of just leaving them there for me to miss and worry you and Tank back here." I lifted a hand to brush some of her crazy hair behind her ear.

"It's alright," she said with a smile. "You're home and you're alive and that's all that matters." She scrunched up her nose when I kissed it and I chuckled. "But I swear to God, Carlos Manoso, that if you die on your last mission I will kill you," she tried to point a stern finger at me but her smile ruined it.

"I'll tell my CO that, next time he calls," I said before leaning down and kissing her with everything I had. Why had a spent years trying to keep her at arm's length? I never even thought that she was at home worrying about me whenever I was 'in the wind' _before _I grew a pair and actually allowed myself to have a relationship with her. This way was better for the both of us. I knew she would still be mine when I came home, not Morelli's; She knew that when I came home I wouldn't contemplate throwing her out of my window if I found her in my bed. Not that I actually was going to when I found her the first time, but I felt I had to show her that just because she'd found out that I actually slept and ate like any normal person (well, she would argue the eating part), didn't mean that I wasn't dangerous. She still worried about me, but the only thing I could do to change that was not go on the missions anymore. And lucky for us my contract only had one mission left on it.

I sat her back up onto the counter and we ate the pancakes together with me standing between her legs, stealing kisses from one another between bites. "Will we still have mornings like this after your contract is over?" she asked and brushed her lips against mine softly.

"You mean mornings where I make you pancakes or mornings when I come back from missions?"

"Both."

"I might still go on missions. It's just that I'm given a choice and can pick and choose the missions I go on and I'm not bound by contract to go on every single one. If I do go then I'll probably only take the low risk missions…I'm not all for risking my life anymore," I confessed.

"The Mighty Manoso doesn't want to risk his life anymore? What could have possibly happened?!" Stephanie joked.

"I met a woman who gave me something to live for," I said and kissed her softly. She deepened the kiss and wrapped her arms around my neck, arched her back and pressed her chest against mine. I wrapped my arms around her hips and pulled her against me.

"She must be one special woman," she said once we broke away, our breathing heavy and our faces inches apart.

"I'd say so. She's pretty sexy too. And I mean, absolutely drop dead sexy," I said as I nuzzled her neck, making a quiet moan escape her lips. "As for pancake mornings, I'm sure you can convince Ella to make you them whenever you want." I began absentmindedly drawing circles on her hips with my fingers as I spoke.

"I don't want Ella to make me pancakes. I like it when _you _make _us _pancakes," she stated.

"So I'll make us pancakes. I'm sure you can find an occasion that requires pancakes."

"Can't I just ask for them?" She whined making me laugh.

"If I made pancakes for you on request then you'd weight as much as Tank by the end of the year!" I grinned at her.

"I would be responsible with my requests!" She argued. "I have some self control, you know." I raised an eyebrow at her and she hit my un-injured shoulder. "Jerk!"

"We'll think of an occasion, trust me." I kissed her forehead and took her hands in mine as she hopped off the counter. I lead her to the bathroom and whispered in her ear. "My shoulder's still a little stiff; I might need some help washing my back," I kissed just under her ear on that spot that I knew drove her crazy.

"Come on, Mr Subtle," she laughed as I nudged her into the bathroom.

_A/N: I hope you guys liked it! Please review and tell me what you thought! ALL feedback is completely welcome!_

_I'm not really confident enough in writing these characters yet to write a longer fic ... with actual plot. And as someone who is very picky when it comes to reading fanfiction, I want to really nail these characters before writing more than a oneshot. So if you guys have any pointers or don't agree with the way I have written any characters (in either past, present or future chapters) PLEASE let me know because it would be greatly appreciated!_


	3. The Nut House

_AN: Sorry I've been gone for so long! I've recently handed in my creative writing piece for English and I didn't have enough creativity left in me to write another oneshot! However, I took advantage of the long weekend and decided to give Stephanie's POV a go! Thank you for ALL of the reviews! You guys really boosted my confidence :)_

_J.E owns them. I'm just taking them for a test drive!_

**Summary: Stephanie brings Ranger over for a Plum family dinner. **

Plum family dinners were the stuff of legends not only in the Burg but also at RangeMan. Usually the Merry Men -a term they have all began to use for themselves- would trade their Stephanie's shadow shift, or 'Bomber Duty' as they called it, with one of the newer and more naïve men on evenings when I schmoozed dinner off my parents. Of course, I now no longer had to schmooze dinner off of my parents because as of yesterday I had officially moved in with Ranger. Surprisingly, I'm okay with it. I haven't slept at my apartment for the last month, only visiting when I needed some more clothes. When my lease on my apartment was up, Ranger managed to persuade me - he can be very persuasive while naked, I discovered- to not renew it and just move in with him on seven. The thought giving away the lease on my apartment to move in with Joe would give me hives. Something was different with Ranger, though. The thought of living with him with no place to run and hide didn't scare me; if anything it made me happy.

So yesterday we went to my apartment, grabbed my cookie jar and the rest of my clothes -a laundry basket of clothes and shoes that I barely ever wore- and took one last look at my apartment before handing the keys over to Dillion. Ranger said that he would send some men over to deal with the furniture.

The upside to this arrangement was I got to wake up to a naked Ranger every morning, _Yum!, _didn't have to pay rent, and Ella provided delicious meals free of the guilt trip. However the downside was now we were expected at my parent's house for dinner every Friday; an excuse no less than "I have to save the world" could excuse you from this mandatory event. I suppose Ranger might be able to get away with that excuse occasionally.

This evening's dinner was a very important dinner; this was the first Friday since I had moved in with Ranger. Someone from the Burg saw that my apartment was up for lease in the paper, called my mother, then the rest of the Burg. I got a call from her this morning and had to admit that I had been living with Ranger for the past month. That means that this is the perfect opportunity for my mother to pressure Ranger into marrying me and giving her more grandchildren, and if that failed, then she would try again next Friday. And because this is such an important dinner; Valerie, her four children and her husband, Albert Kloughn, will be there as an audience.

And that's why I am standing in front of the huge walk in closet, in nothing more than my black lace bra and panties from Victoria Secret, with my hands on my hips giving Ranger my best Burg 'pissed off girlfriend' look.

"What?" He asked as he buttoned the cuffs to his black dress shirt.

"Would it kill you to add a bit of colour?" I asked exasperatedly. I was trying to convince my mother that Ranger was a nice upstanding citizen who owned a respectable security company and did well by the community. If he turned up in all black she would instantly start ranting about how he was a thug and 'what kind of respectable man dresses in all black, Stephanie?'

"You never seemed to mind before," he said and I rolled my eyes. I walked up to him and began unbuttoning his shirt.

"I don't mind. It's my mother that will mind and I really want her to give you a chance," I finished unbuttoning his shirt and went on my tippy toes to kiss him.

"If you wanted me to strip, all you had to do was ask, Babe," he smirked when I pulled away. I hit his bare chest lightly and laughed. "I really like these," he said as he ran a finger under my lace bra strap.

Victoria's Secret made Ranger a very happy man.

So happy, in fact, that I didn't feel at all bad about using his credit card to buy replacements for the ones he ripped off of me.

"Go and put a different shirt on," I said as I pushed him towards the closet.

I pulled on a blue summer dress with random lighter sections all over it. I put on some strappy sandals and tied my hair up in a messy bun. Then I saw the marks on my neck from Ranger's very thorough love making and decided to leave my hair down. I was trying to reach the zip on the back when I felt his hands under the open fabric. He kissed my shoulder and I closed my eyes at the sensation.

"If you haven't changed your shirt then we're not going and you'll have to explain to my mother why," I said to him with my head resting on his shoulder as he kissed my neck.

"What if I'm not wearing a shirt at all?"

"Then we're definitely not going," I groaned and I felt his chest shake against my back as he chuckled.

"Unfortunately I do have a shirt on and yes I have changed it," he said and zipped up the dress up for me before stepping back. I turned around and inspected his outfit. His hair was tied up and I had convinced him to forgo the earring. He was wearing simple black slacks and a navy blue dress shirt.

It's not that I don't like the way he looks and what he chooses to wear or who he is, it's just that I want tonight to be as drama free as possible. Hopefully taking away things about Ranger that my mother could use against me would minimise the rant time. Of course, not all things that she disapproves of about Ranger could be changed as easily as his shirt. For example, he's not Joe, he works with criminals, and he's not from the 'Burg. But most of all, the worst thing about Ranger in my mother's eyes is that he doesn't want to marry me. What she doesn't understand is that these qualities are what I love about Ranger. Neither of us wants to be married again. We are happy to be in an exclusive, mature (that's right, folks. Stephanie Plum is mature) and committed relationship with each other. I am absolutely over the moon that he's not Joe. And he may work with men who have criminal records but I can honestly say that I trust them more than anyone.

"Much better," I said as a smoothed out his shirt and smiled up at him.

His hands came to my hips and he drew random patterns with his fingers. "You need to relax, Babe. I have been to dinner plenty of times."

"Yes, but not as my boyfriend who I'm living in sin with!" I tried to explain to him. He just didn't seem to get the importance of this meal.

"Everything will be fine," he assured me and kissed me softly. "Let's go, we don't want to be late."

I nodded and picked up my purse before allowing him to lead me out of the apartment. We stepped into the elevator and I instantly leant back against his hard chest. He assured me a total of five more times before we made it to the garage that everything would be fine and he is big and badass enough to take whatever my family can throw at him.

The second we turned up at my parents' house Grandma Mazur and my mother were standing at the porch waiting for us. I turned to Ranger and gave him one last pleading look in the hope that he would turn the car around and we would spend the evening eating Ella's amazing food and cuddling on the couch. Maybe I could convince him to watch Ghostbusters… again. Probably not. He's hidden my copy in the apartment somewhere.

"Not happening, Babe," he smirked and exited the car.

I huffed and opened my door before Ranger could get to it, knowing that he liked to open my door because it made him feel manly. He said it was because that's how he was brought up and 'any woman with a Manoso man should never have to open a door herself'. I think that really it was the only thing that I allowed him to do without complaint for me so he took pride in it. He shot me a look when I ignored his hand out of the car and closed the door myself. I know it was incredibly petty of me, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

"Since you don't seem to want to accept my help tonight, why don't I just leave and let you face your mother all on your own?" he teased quietly in my ear as we walked hand in hand towards the house, proving that he knew exactly what I was doing.

"She's already seen you. You can't escape now."

"Work emergency," he shrugged, proving he could easily get out of this situation.

"She wouldn't like that. No one gets out of a Plum family dinner unless it's a life and death situation."

"I'm sure I have one of those lying around," he said just as we reached earshot of my mother and Grandma Mazur, meaning I couldn't respond.

"Stephanie Plum! It has been far too long since you have come to dinner," my mother's complaining started before we'd even made it into the house. I rolled my eyes and hung my light coat up as Ranger closed the door behind us.

"I'm sorry, Mom. I've been busy with work." I knew that if I looked over at Ranger that he would be trying his hardest not to smile at my obvious lie to my mother. Truthfully, I've been making excuses for the past few weeks just to get out of it.

"Stephanie, you need to get a normal job with normal working hours. It's not a desirable quality to work such an unpredictable schedule."

I rolled my eyes yet again and she walked off towards the kitchen, calling over her shoulder for me to start setting the table. I turned to Ranger to make sure he wasn't about to bolt and placed my hands on his chest. His hands instantly went to my hips and he gave me quick and soft kiss on my lips.

"If I come back out and you aren't here you're going to be sleeping on the couch for the rest of the week," I told him before pushing him towards the lounge.

"Babe," he chuckled and I watched him as he sat down on the couch next to my father's chair and fist bumped him. I'm not sure when they started doing that but the first time I saw it I couldn't believe my eyes. Ranger and my father got along great. They shared war stories and talked sports together. They also could sit together in silence while watching the game whilst Albert felt the need to fill the silence with mindless chatter that neither my dad nor Ranger were interested in. I sometimes felt sorry for Albert, because my Dad obviously didn't like him. We used to tell him that it was because he wasn't Italian, but that backfired when Dad started to fist bump my Cuban boyfriend.

I walked into the kitchen where my mother and Grandma Mazur were doing their normal Friday dinner rituals. Grandma Mazur was talking about her latest studmuffin and my mother was eyeing the liquor cupboard longingly.

"Ranger sure does clean up nice doesn't he?" Grandma Mazur said once she'd finished a particularly disturbing recount of her date last night. "And those slacks really show off his package. You are one lucky woman."

"Mother!"

"I bet you get to try out some real nice positions with him. He doesn't seem like a missionary position, under the covers kinda guy. I would give my left boob to have a man like that. When you get to be my age they all need a safety rail just to get _into_ the bed!" I could feel my face heat up at the thought of Grandma Mazur knowing all sorts of positions Ranger had introduced me to. I've always been a little more adventurous than the typical 'Burg girl', but hot damn, Ranger had some master skills in the bedroom.

"_Mother!_"

"Oh calm down, Helen. Stop being so uptight," she snapped back and winked at me. "What do you think Albert's going to do this time to get Frank's attention?" Grandma changed the subject. Every time we had dinner together, Albert would try his hardest to show Dad how he's worthy of Valerie. And every time it would end in embarrassment.

"I vote he's going to start talking about home improvement and it will end up to be something stupid like he put up a shelf once and when he put something on it, it fell down," I suggested.

"That was last week, Stephanie," she told me. "I think he's going to do something with sports. Maybe he's helping Mary Alice with her ballet." Grandma barely got her sentence out before she started laughing.

"Stephanie, will you hurry up and set the table," my mother said as she shot Grandma Mazur a glare. Obviously not enjoying us laughing at Albert's attempts to befriend my father.

I took the plates out of the oven, remembering to use a tea towel this time, and carried them out to the dining room and set the table. Just as I put the first plate down Valerie and her family came charging in. Albert was desperately trying to stop Mary Alice and Angie from running through the house and Valerie had Lisa cradled in her arms, crying and screaming her little heart out.

"Hi, Steph," Albert said after he had given up trying to control the girls. "Need any help?" he offered and reached for a plate.

"No Albe-"

"EEEEEEEOW!" He screamed and dropped the hot plate. It landed on the corner of the table and, of course, shattered. He started hopping around, holding his burnt hand and biting his lip to, I assume, prevent crying.

Ranger was by my side almost instantly and was watching the scene in front of him - after checking I was alright first - with an almost smile playing on his face. My dad had leant forward in his chair a little, realised that it was Albert, and sat back to continue watching the news. My mother and Grandma Mazur had come rushing out and were probably about to check his hand but Valerie had beaten them to it and was hugging Albert as he sniffled into her shoulder. I started picking up the plate and placing the pieces into the tea towel to prevent any of the children from stepping on them in their socks.

"Oh, no Stephanie. I'll -hiccup- clean that up. It was my fault -hiccup- of course -sniff-," Albert started to object.

"Albert, why don't you join me in the lounge? I'll sort your hand out," Ranger offered. Knowing that if he tried to help in the state he was in then he'd just end up making it worse. Albert was clumsy at the best of times and he seemed to just get worse when he was upset. He nodded and followed Ranger into the lounge, sniffing all the way.

"What in God's name have you done now?" I heard my dad say from his seat in the lounge as Albert sat down next to Ranger on the couch. Grandma Mazur had given Ranger the first aid kit and a quick once over before going back to help Mom in the kitchen.

I finished setting the table and went to sit next to Ranger while Valerie went to help in the kitchen. The second I sat down, Ranger put his arm around me and I tucked my body closer to his. I leant in and gave him an in-front-of-family appropriate kiss for helping out Albert. A chorus of "eeeeeeeeew" followed as Mary Alice and Angie came into the lounge to tell us dinner was ready and our lips weren't even touching yet.

We all sat down, my dad in his usual seat, Ranger to his left, then me and then Grandma Mazur. Albert was to my dad's right, then Mary Alice, Angie and then Valerie. Lisa was asleep in the lounge in her cot that always stayed at my parents' and Mum was at the other end of the table. I hadn't even finished serving up my plate before Albert started to babble away.

"I've been learning Italian," he said to my dad after telling everyone about his latest case. I heard Grandma Mazur mumble 'dammit' under her breath, obviously annoyed that her guess was wrong.

"_Smettere di cercare di farmi come te_," he said to Albert. _(Translation: I still don't like you.)_ Ranger snorted into his wine I shot him a glare. "_Da quando hai parlato Italiano?" _Dad said to Ranger. _(Translation: Since when did you speak Italian?)_

"I can't speak it. But I understand enough to get by," he shrugged as if he weren't talking about the one thing that would make my dad like him even more than he already did.

I'm pretty sure Albert had shrunk in size after his attempt to make my dad like him. I gave him a sympathetic smile and continued eating my meal, pretending not to notice that there was at least one more spoon full of green beans and carrots on my plate than there were before.

"So Stephanie, I have to ask. When's the big announcement?" my mother asked as she took a sip of her wine.

"What big announcement?"

"You know…" she unhelpfully gestured to Ranger who was also frowning slightly.

"I've moved in with Ranger?" I was certain that she already knew that. And I'm sure that Valerie and my dad also knew. I briefly wondered if she'd had more wine than I'd originally thought.

"Oh, come on Stephanie. Your engagement!" she smiled excitedly and took another sip of wine.

"Mom," I groaned. "We're not engaged. I've already explained to you that we're never going to get married."I said these words slowly and loudly just in case her hearing was giving her trouble.

"But you're living together," she pointed out as if I was unaware of my current living situation.

"Helen, everyone lives in sin nowadays. Let go of your old fashioned opinions and shut your trap," Grandma Mazur piped up, winking at me once she was done.

"Mother!"

"Ranger and I are very happy with our relationship just as it is. We don't want to be married again."

"Valerie said the same thing and now look, she not only has a husband but also another beautiful little girl," she pointed her fork towards Valerie's side of the table. I tried to hide the slight smile that was threatening to appear at the sight of Valerie's new family. She hadn't lost any of the weight she put on after Lisa's birth and Albert wasn't exactly husband material, especially as he sat there with his right hand cradled against his chest wrapped in a bandage.

"Because her new husband is so much better than the old one," Dad mumbled sarcastically and continued to shovel food into his mouth. Ranger was doing his thinking-about-smiling smile.

"Dad!" Valerie snapped at him and leant over Angie and Mary Alice to run her fingers through Albert's hair. I assumed it was to comfort him. I cringed at the sight. Sure, I did that to Ranger all the time, but that was because Ranger's hair was sexy as hell and I liked to grab onto it while he was making me forget my name.

"He chases ambulances down the road!" Dad exclaimed.

Mom was obviously over talking about Valerie, because she's already married with children so her job was done, so she turned back to our side of the table and locked her eyes on Ranger. "Carlos," I rolled my eyes at her refusal to call him Ranger, "I understand your reluctance to want to marry Stephanie. But I assure you, if I work with her, she could be prefect wife material in a month."

"Mom!"

Okay, I know I'm not the perfect house wife. I can't cook anything more advanced than a microwavable meal and if Ranger let Ella go, the apartment would be a complete mess because I sure as hell wasn't going to clean it. But the fact that my mother thought the reason for our lack of engagement was because he didn't _want _me was just insulting.

"Mrs Plum," Ranger interrupted calmly before I could voice my inner ramblings. "I would prefer it if you didn't try to change your daughter." She started to interrupt but he continued talking in his calm voice. "I love Steph, with all my heart. If you changed her into the housewife you think she _should_ be, she wouldn't be the woman I love anymore. And in case you were wondering, we_ have_ talked about marriage and we've agreed that neither of us want it. We are in an exclusive and committed relationship. The only difference between what we have and what we _would_ have if we were married are some rings and a piece of paper."

I put my hand on his thigh and kissed him softly when he looked at me. This man was perfect. Ranger loved me for who I was and what we had worked. Sure it may not be what my mother wanted or what was 'correct' in the Burg, but it was exactly what we wanted.

"Yes and that's all well and good, but what about the security you get from marriage." The response my mother received were two very un-ladylike snorts from my sister and I and a raised eyebrow from Ranger.

"Mom, how can you say that when both me and Val had our husbands cheat on us?" I asked her. "There is no added security with marriage."

"You just didn't try hard enough, dear," she waved her hand as if dismissing my comment as she took a rather large sip of wine.

"That's bullshit, Helen and you know it," my dad spoke up. "If these two," he gestured to Ranger and I. "don't want to get married then nothing you say will convince them to."

"Frank!"

"Just be happy that Stephanie's finally with someone who doesn't need to order Rolaids by the gallon because of her job."

Everyone, including my mother, was silent as they watched my father. Usually he just sat there silently and let my Mom nag me until I made up some bullshit story about how I'm 'practically engaged to Joe'. But the thing about my dad is when he did talk, he had the final say and no one would argue with him. The rest of the evening was spent with pleasant conversation, with my father shooting my mother a glare whenever she started complaining. With a fist bump and a bag of leftovers we left the nut house and Ranger led me to his car. I even allowed him to open my door for me.

The second I walked into our apartment (I still can't believe it's 'our' apartment) I turned my back to Ranger and asked him to unzip my dress as I shucked off my shoes and dropped my purse on the small hallway table. He kissed my neck as he slowly unzipped me and placed his hands on my waist under the fabric just as he had before we'd left. I made a noise of complaint when he stepped back and walked into the kitchen to put the leftovers in the fridge. Fucking tease.

I pushed my dress off my shoulders and let it fall to the floor. Stepping out of it, I walked through the lounge towards the bedroom, putting a bit more sway in my hips when I felt his eyes on me. "Don't put anything on on my account," he said with a smile in his voice before I closed the door to the bedroom.

I quickly put a pair of stretchy yoga pants on and one of his t-shirts. Even though his shirts were skin-tight on him, they were huge on me. I went into the bathroom and piled my hair on top of my head, tried to secure it with a hair-tie and then washed my make up off. Normally, I would take my bra off too but I knew Ranger would be looking forward to seeing me in my underwear tonight. I walked out into the lounge and smiled at Ranger sitting on the couch. He was in only some loose-fitting, low slung (_swoon!_) sweat pants with his legs stretched out and crossed on the coffee table in front of him. He must have changed while I was taming my hair.

He stopped flicking through the channels to turn and look at me. He lifted his arm as an invitation to sit next to him and I happily complied. I curled up against his side and rested my head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and kissed my mass of curls.

"Tonight wasn't so bad," I said after he had settled on watching some comedy that neither of us were really interested in.

"I told you it wouldn't be."

"I felt sorry for Albert though," I admitted and traced his abs with my fingers, enjoying how the muscles moved as he moved or talked. "Dad doesn't make it easy for him."

"He just needs to relax," Ranger said as he played with some curls that had escaped from my bun. "He starts babbling when he's nervous and just digs himself into a hole."

"I don't think Albert has ever been _relaxed_," I rolled my eyes and sighed when Ranger started rubbing the back of my neck in a light massage. "And why didn't you tell me you could speak Italian?"

Ranger chuckled a little and I watched in fascination as his face lit up. "I can't speak it very well so I didn't think it was important," he shrugged. He saw me looking at him with my 'are you kidding me?' look and sighed. That's right, Ranger sighed. "Was this one of those things that even though it's not important to anything, I should have shared it with you?" I nodded and settled back down on his shoulder. "Sorry, Babe."

While I'd been working on being more honest, using less half-truths and trying to control my Italian temper (Ranger seemed to have no issues with my Hungarian hormones), Ranger had been working on sharing more things about himself. Even if they weren't really important or relevant. He was still getting the hang of it, but I was proud of him. I loved it when he would randomly tell me about a childhood memory when we were driving somewhere, instead of just slipping into his zone.

He untied my hair that I'd put so much work into and wrapped a ringlet around one of my curls. "Why must you undo all of my hard work?" I pretended to pout up at him.

"I love your curls, Babe," he said as he nuzzled my neck through them. I moaned when he placed his hand on the centre of my back and pulled me closer to him. Pulling me over onto his lap so that I was straddling him, he kissed me hungrily with his hands buried in my hair. I moaned into his mouth and ran my fingers down his abs, loving the feel of them.

Oh God, this man was perfect.

_AN: I hope you guys liked it! I didn't realise how long it was until I proofed it! I think I might add a part 2 to this one… but I'm not too sure yet. I'm hoping to update at least once a month but that is already proving to be hard because of work and school etc. Please review and tell me what you think!_


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